We all compare ourselves to others whether we like it or not. It’s subconscious and it’s a sickness.

It deprives us from what we truly want, happiness.

We compare ourselves to others of the same sex, to others of the opposite sex, especially to strangers, but also to our friends and family members.

When it comes to girls we compare everything from how long our lashes are to the nail polish colour we chose on our toes. We loved our nail polish choice right after our pedicure, walking around like we were worth a million bucks, up until we see another girl with a different colour and suddenly we start regretting our choice. It ruins our energy, or vibe and our confidence. If that girl hadn’t walked by, we would have continued on with our happiness and confidence about the choice we made. This rule seems to apply to all our choices, big or small, never feeling satisfied.
As for men, they compare bodies just like women do. They compare the weight they lift at the gym, the car they drive, the salary they make, or how beautiful their girlfriends are. It shouldn’t diminish how much we love someone or how hard we work for what we have. Hard work unfortunately isn’t always reflected in salary. 

We compare the smallest insignificant things to more significant ones. We compare our childhoods to those of our friends, or to those of our parents. Especially, since our parents never let us forget that their times were better; no social media, people used to talk to each other instead of stare at their phones, and they used to fix things and not replace them. We compare ourselves to our coworkers and whether they do the same job better. We compare our children to those of others when going to a park or to the grocery store. We compare our past relationships to our new ones and we compare those of our friends to our current ones.

You can have the most beautiful car, family, face, body, house, etc. but you may just not be someone’s ‘cup of tea’. That doesn’t make you less beautiful or wonderful to someone else.

There’s a saying, ‘’You can be the most beautiful, juicy and ripe peach, but there is always going to be someone who doesn’t like peaches’’

It's an inevitable trap into the spiralling thoughts or doubt and insecurity. But, if we just lived in our own little bubble, and fiercely protected it, we would be happy, right? 

There’s another famous saying, ‘Does the tree make a sound when it hits the ground, if there is no one around to hear it fall?’ 

Let’s say that we compare, and we come to the conclusion that our grass is greener. For example, my hair is nicer than hers.

Does that really make me better a better person? Is that a considered a unit of measurement for happiness? Can I add it to my CV? Does my salary change because of it? The answer is no, for most people.

It’s about changing our way of seeing things. Finding inspiration in what others have that we want. Make a goal and go get it. If it’s something you want, why should you not have it? If you don’t want it enough to work for it, let it go. We should do things for ourselves and not for comparison of others, but for comparison to ourselves and who we want to be. You want to be healthier than you are now? Make changes to your diet and to you exercise routine. You want a nicer car? Do what it takes, save the money, get the job or the degree. Want to travel? Save the money, plan it, and go.  Want to sleep better? Do some self-reflection, find what is causing it and work towards it, or stop drinking so much coffee!

Comparison can be poisonous, all depending on the kind we make.
 

Gabrielle Suryn 

Gabrielle Suryn is an endless traveller, a photographer, a writer of a book in writing, an animal lover and activist, Business and Management professional and a future animal shelter owner. A strong belief in self-reflection and improvement is Gabrielle's motto for life.